I want you to think about that question for a moment before you read the rest of the article.

Santino Marella and The “Great” Khali. Hornswoggle. Tons of Funk. Los Luchadores. The BroMans.

None of these names are really jumping off the page, are they?

There’s a pretty good reason for that: Comedy Gimmicks don’t really get much respect. Is that fair? Absolutely not. These are, with the exception of Khali, and arguably Hornswoggle, talented wrestlers who don’t get a lot of opportunity to showcase their talents in the ring. Or, if they do, it’s in a limited capacity, jobbing to another team or another wrestler. They have the toughest job in professional wrestling: Making others look good, and being funny while doing it.

Traditionally, comedy gimmicks have been the death knell of a career (or at least a stint with a particular company). Mike Shaw was a talented big man who took the name Bastion Booger. He lasted a half a year in the WWE (then WWF) before being released in early 1994.

Dale Torborg debuted as the KISS Demon in 1998, and lasted barely until 2000 before they mercifully ended the gimmick, and he was released from WCW. Afterwards, Torborg would turn to strength and conditioning coaching for the Montreal Expos after a blip in the WWE (then WWF) in 2001. That’s right, the KISS Demon was so freaking terrible, it caused Torborg to go to baseball.

Glenn Jacobs was saddled with the ridiculous gimmick of a demented dentist named Dr. Isaac Yankem, DDS. He lasted barely four months (June 1995 – September 1995) with the gimmick before heading out as the Fake Diesel. Eventually Jacobs jumped out as the Kane we know and love today.

I won’t even bother with the history of the Gobbledy Gooker, save that he was played by Eddie Guerrero’s older brother Hector. Let that sink in for a minute.

There’s very few comedy gimmicks that have genuinely succeeded in any company. Sure, a few have gotten over, if only from cheap laughs and filler. (Santino, I’m looking at you, and your crotch sock. Give Mr. Socko back to Mankind and get serious.) But most have just failed on every level, this includes the more recent rash of comedic gimmicks, as well.

Brodus Clay was built up as the next big unstoppable force. He was built as a man who could threaten every wrestler on the WWE roster. What’s he doing now?

He’s wearing Stegosaurus spines on his tights.

Albert—sorry, Tensai—was also billed as a threat to the entire roster. Returning after a successful stint in Japan as having assimilated into Japanese culture, Lord Tensai was supposed to be the next big thing. What’s he doing now?

Languishing in jobber hell with Brodus Clay as Tons of Funk. They’re barely ever on TV, and only then if WWE needs a quick filler match.

The “Great” Khali… well, he can’t wrestle, he can’t talk, and can barely walk. He lumbers to the ring, and botches his way through matches. Sin Cara has less botches than Khali, and that’s saying something. Where is he?

He’s used as an extra in gimmick tag teams. Need someone for Natalya to have a mixed-tag with? Sure, put the tree trunk in there. Santino need a tag team partner? Yup, totem pole’s got your back.

Speaking of Santino, he’s arguably the most successful comedy act in the WWE. He’s a surprisingly canny technical wrestler. He’s got chops. But they saddle him with this ludicrous, over-exaggerated Italian accent/mannerisms gimmick, and it just won’t go away. WWE had a fantastic opportunity to bring him back as a serious wrestler, and a serious contender for the Intercontinental or US Championships. What do they do?

They bring back the damn “Cobra”.

It’s a tired gimmick. It was a tired gimmick to begin with.

Los Matadores? Okay, now we’re just getting insulting. Not only insulting to our intelligence, but to Mexican culture, Primo, Epico, and the poor bastard they have dressed up as “El Torito”. Honestly, up until their entrance for Hell in a Cell while I’m writing this, I’d completely forgotten about them.

What about Hornswoggle? Honestly, I think Vince McMahon just finds little people funny.

They’re not funny by nature, Vince. They’re people. It’s just insulting at this point.

There’s a ray of light at the end of this article, though. There’s one last tag team I mentioned that I haven’t covered: The BroMans, Jessie Godderz and Robbie E. Talented wrestlers, saddled with a sad, sad gimmick. They’re billed as guidos, looking like they’re from the Jersey shore, spray tan and all. Even with that ridiculous gimmick, they’re over in TNA. TNA has actually even gone so far as to take a chance and give Godderz and Robbie a run with the titles.

Do comedy gimmicks kill careers? No. Not always, at least. There are a lot of talented men and women who hold comedy gimmicks and their skills shine through. Eventually they may shed that gimmick, transcend it and turn into something better (Kane). Or turn it into a lengthy career, even if they shouldn’t (Santino).

Should comedy gimmicks go away? No. Should they evolve? Absolutely.

The trouble here is that comedy gimmicks are aimed entirely at hooking a demographic that the wrestling organizations (or at least WWE) shouldn’t even be aiming at: Young kids. Do you really want to hook the youngest generation and get them into wrestling? Aim at teenagers. When you were young, who did you look up to, want to be like? The older kids, the teenagers. You idolized them just like I did, right? If they liked something, it had to be cool.

Let them evolve, and the possibilities grow. Mature the humor, cut the fart jokes (poor Natalya), cut the “Cobra”, and let the wrestlers shine in the ring. You’ll be glad you did.

– Paul Clewell (@RazokKull)